Second Chances

Have you ever noticed how many times we are presented with the same opportunity to change? You may attract certain people in your life that have similar characteristics, or situations where the same theme keeps popping up. I believe this happens as an opportunity to make positive change in our lives. So often we continue to make the same mistakes and end up with the same negative results. I believe that this happens because some part of us is afraid to change.

It's amazing how we will fight to the end to preserve our "less than ideal" selves even if we only need to make a small positive change and move on. We feel threatened that we may lose part of who we are if we change so we'd rather deal with making the same mistakes over and over again because at least that is familiar ground. How sane is that philosophy? Yet most of us subscribe to this ever single day of our lives. We know that a certain choice doesn't produce the results that we want yet we will continue to make that choice each time. Maybe we shouldn't be so afraid of losing ourselves if that part isn't working anyway. It's much better to have more love than to have more garbage to sift through to find the love. It's more of a positive than a loss if you look at it that way.

An acquaintance of mine recently had everything taken away because of alcohol. He continued to drink instead of making corrections in his life until he lost his car and his children. I watched his life slowly deteriorate before my eyes. I was able to get help for him, but when he came back into my life I found it extremely difficult to forgive him. I found this to be a troubling realization. He had finally made changes in his life and was given a second chance and I didn't want to forgive him because I felt that he was going to go back to his old ways and burn me again. I didn't want to be an enabler, but at the same time I needed to forgive him and help support his lifestyle change.

I kept going back to a passage(Mt 18:22) that I remembered in the Bible where Peter asks Jesus how many times should we forgive our brother? Peter thought 7 times was good because the rabbis in that time taught that one should forgive another 3 times. Jesus responds by saying that we should forgive our brother, not 7 times, but seventy seven times (basically saying that we should always forgive).

I thought how many times have I made the same mistake and God continues to forgive me. Who am I to decide not to forgive someone simply because I already had numerous times in the past? I knew my temporary inability to forgive was wrong, but it took me a few days to do the right thing and forgive him. It bothered me that it took me that much time to do the right thing.

I wonder how many times others have dealt with similar situations. You know what you have to do, but for one reason or another you simply do not want to make that change in your life. How many thousands of second chances have I received in this lifetime? How many more will I need along the way? True forgiveness is very challenging especially where fighting and retaliation seem to be the popular choices. Forgiveness is not the recurring theme on television, music, or in the movies. No wonder why it is so difficult to experience it in everyday life. We are surrounded by messages that glorify the opposite path. I see it everywhere and am shocked when I see forgiveness in any capacity.

We are now at a point where lawsuits, violence, and road rage are the norm. One has to search to find stories in the media or everyday life depicting forgiveness. If you've been holding a grudge or avoiding people because you are still stewing over what they have said or done, I challenge you to talk to them and completely forgive them and observe what happens. It's important that you completely absolve them and not use ultimatums or have any strings attached. If you truly forgive someone the bitter negative feelings will be replaced with love. Think about how you feel when you are given a second chance. Why not give that gift to someone else? Better yet, after you've forgiven them offer your hand in support at their attempts towards positive change. Second chances are what keep us moving in the right direction, so we need to forgive and move on.

Be Well!

Filling the Void

Many times in life we feel empty and alone. It doesn't seem to matter what we say or do about it. There is just this underlying current of emptiness. We may try to fill this void with temporary pleasures (i.e. eating junk food, drinking alcohol, watching movies or TV). We may also become adrenaline junkies going on wild adventures for our next escape from reality. Some may live the life of constant drama, all in an attempt to avoid the void. Since we perceive the void to be a negative experience we work hard to avoid it or fill it with any earthly solution we can find.

Although all of these coping strategies may have a positive effect in the short term, more often than not we use them exclusively to solve our problems. This is ineffective because after the temporary "distraction" has passed we are often left thinking "OK that was fun, but I still feel empty". The cycle perpetuates into trying bigger and better things with the same result.

I only recently realized that this void should be embraced, not shunned. I believe that this is an opportunity to spend time with your Creator and let His Love fill the void in your life. The love that comes from God is not a flash in the pan. God's love is everlasting. It seems obvious, but we often forget this point. His love is everlasting. Think about that for a moment. His love transcends time! Loneliness or emptiness is usually a result of not living in the present moment. If we allow God's love into our lives and live in the present moment, we will not feel empty and alone. Why not let God's love in and see what happens?

Another thing that I've observed is that when people receive God's love they don't know what to do with it. It's like those stories that you hear about in the news when people win the lottery and then file for bankruptcy a year later. We can be greedy with God's love and keep it for ourselves or we can pass it on to others. When we keep it and don't share it we feel that if we give it away we won't have any left inside for us. What typically happens at this point is that our feelings slowly dissipate without our awareness and then we are back to square one. When we share our love with others what typically happens is that we feel even more fulfilled by passing the gift on and the love given isn't lost...it is doubled.

" Real joy comes not from the riches or praises of men but from doing something worthwhile".
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regardone another as more important than yourselves". -Phil 2:3 NASB

Do the best with what you have available to you in life and you will be rewarded. If in the deepest, darkest moments of your life you find a way to love you will realize that there really is something far greater than yourself or your own personal life experience. Find a way to be more loving to others in everyday life and observe what happens both internally and externally. I'm sure you will be amazed if you give it a shot...even for just one day. Try it!

The Challenge

I just recently found out that one of my best friends was paralyzed in a freak accident over the weekend. She was at her nephew’s birthday party at a place where they had several bounce houses and obstacle courses. She was playing with the kids as she always does and decided to try the obstacle course. She was standing on a 3 foot wall when she lost her balance and fell on her head. She told me that she ended up face down in a foam pit and immediately realized that she couldn’t move. She was screaming as she feared she would suffocate because she couldn’t lift her head. The entire time that she was waiting for medical help she was praying and trying to make deals with God to be able to regain her normal function.

I found out several days after the accident and she told me that she had a bruised spinal cord and that it wasn’t severed. I was relieved to hear that because it means that she has a much better chance of regaining function in the affected areas. The first day I spoke with her she was down and frustrated. She leads an extremely active life and has a two year old son. She was questioning every part of her existence. This made me think of my own mortality and how I live.

I again realized that we do not have the plan. God has it. We do not know what will happen in life. How will our choices mold us and those lives that we touch? What are the consequences of our thoughts and actions? We usually don’t get these answers in advance. We usually do not get to know why certain events happen until much later on or possibly never. We must trust that there is a reason for it and that even though our minds may not be able to comprehend it…there is a reason. We need to pray and trust in God and His plan for each and every one of us.

My friend’s accident has created a stronger bond with her husband, forced her to live each moment being fully present in that moment, and has her thinking about a career change that would have her helping others with spinal cord injuries. She is so appreciative of the therapists that gave her hope because she didn’t have any for herself. She wants to be able to give that gift back to others who are lacking hope. She is slowly beginning to get function back and if there is a way to get it back, I’m certain that she will find it.

The Challenge for all of us is to trust in our maker. He has all of the pieces to the puzzle of life. We do not. In fact, often times we think that we have a piece and we later find out that it is to a different puzzle. Why not let God make our puzzle since He has all of the pieces and knows how they all collectively work together to create a beautiful picture. We all have a responsibility to share our pieces of the puzzle with each other so that we can help to create the picture. I think that this is one of God's ways to get us to work together and love each other. Even in the darkest moments of life we must trust God and that somehow, someway this is for the greater good of us all.

" Stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,
it's when things seem worst that you must not quit " - anon.

The Hiker

I just read an article about a hiker who died while attempting to reach the summit of Mount Everest. The article stated that 40 other climbers passed by and left him to die. The article was insinuating that the hikers were more concerned about not making it to the summit if they stopped to try and save the solo hiker. We may not have all of the information because we rarely do when it comes to events in the media, so it is not my desire to make a judgment or have others make judgments or jump to conclusions since we were not in the situation. The story did however draw some strong parallels for me with the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30). I thought about how current events in our world today could easily have been Biblical events if they occured in that time period.

What makes us think that we are so different today from what is written in the Bible? The names, locations, and details of the events may certainly be different, but are the underlying lessons or principles any different? How is a hiker left for dead who is passed up by many really any different from a man who was beaten by robbers and left for dead and passed up twice? The only difference that I can see is that many more passed by the hiker without assisting.

Even though the story in the Bible was used as a teaching tool, I'm sure that if we had more details we would find that the Samaritan wasn't just waiting around for the opportunity to save someone's life because he didn't have any other plans for his day. It sounds to me like the Samaritan dropped his own personal agenda and even crossed over religious lines to help what today might be considered an enemy.

It's unfortunate that the hiker died in the way that he did, not because he ran out of oxygen 1,000 feet from the summit, but because nobody stopped to help another in a dire time of need. I'm guessing that he might have died even if a group attempted to save him and maybe even endanger their own lives in the process, but if we are here to love then shouldn't our actions reflect that regardless of personal agendas?

It is easy to point the finger, as most will do upon reading this story, but we all do similar things every single day on a smaller scale and don't think twice about it. We stop listening in conversations so that we can work on our rebuttal, we are too busy to say hello to loved ones, we turn our heads and run away when others need us or are in a state of crisis. Isn't this leaving others for spiritual death when we behave this way? We are always looking for the easiest way out of difficult situations instead of trying to find the best solution. Here is something that I've learned in my short time here on Earth...The best solutions in life stem from a loving, caring spirit that is willing to disregard fear, personal agendas, comfort zones, and mental negativity to do what feels right in your soul.

Sting was right..."Let your soul be your pilot"!

Shawn's Story

Over the years I have met many inspirational people in my line of work. This blog entry is a story about a man who suffered a brain injury in a hang gliding accident a few years back. Let's call him Shawn. Shawn worked diligently for months in physical therapy to regain his strength, balance, and coordination to improve upon his neurological deficits. Upon completion of therapy he began working out at my facility.

I was impressed with Shawn the first time I met him. His therapist had called me before my appointment with him and explained his condition and training program in detail. Shawn is a tall man in his late forties who has a childlike approach to life. He has a brace on one of his legs to assist him in walking and he has a wrist and hand injury that doesn't allow him to hold objects or extend his wrist.

Shawn comes in every day and stays for hours. He has become what many would call a "fixture" to our center. Other members have informed me that sometimes they come in just to see if Shawn was there that day. If he was present then they would work out because they figured if he could do it then certainly they could as well. Shawn doesn't realize how much of an inspiration he is to others. He just always comes into the center with a smile on his face and love in his heart and goes to work with his program.

Shawn has had just about everything he knows and loves taken away from him. After the accident his wife left him and took his money and belongings. The accident took away his ability to walk without assistance and securely hold things in his hand. He has difficulty opening doors, walking, and climbing stairs. None of this seems to bother him. He just continues to push himself and remain optimistic. Most people that I meet would have given up years ago, but he is committed to making his life the best that it can be and he works out everyday to see if he can get a little bit stronger or a little bit more range of motion in his wrist.

It is amazing to watch Shawn work out. He has it all down to a science. He walks forward, backward and sideways, constantly trying to get his legs to cooperate with his mind. He places a 45lb weight on his wrist and lets it sit there for a while to try and get his wrist to straighten out a bit more. He performs all of the exercises that he received from physical therapy a few years ago to the best of his ability each and every day and is always willing to try new exercises. Most people that I meet won't even do their physical therapy exercises unless they are with the therapist. Once they have to do it on their own they quit. Shawn will push himself, but he is smart about it because he knows how to pace himself as well.

Shawn is always willing to stop and chat with others or even just offer them whatever food he has brought in for the day. Shawn is a generous, caring individual who has a tenacious will to improve his existence on earth and help anyone he meets to do the same. He has a gregarious spirit that enables him to meet and inspire others to feel good about working out. Shawn is a reminder to all that on days that we may not feel like working out, for whatever reason, we still should press forward. Shawn serves as a reminder to all that we can still be loving and generous with our time even when it isn't easy or convenient to do so.

Be a source of inspiration to all that you may encounter!

Mind Bender

"Blessed are the flexible for they will never be bent out of shape". Being flexible goes far beyond the range of motion that you may have in your back or limbs. When your muscles become too tight you can do stretching exercises to get them back into a normal state. I believe that the same is true for your mind and soul as well.

If your brain becomes "too tight" or closed minded you miss out on life's lessons. You let your brain dominate your life even though it most likely is misleading you. You may need to do some exercises to create a more flexible approach to life. Let me explain in greater detail.

Have you ever spent time looking at optical illusions? I used to be fascinated by these mirages as a child and as an adult they have taught me quite a bit about life. Isn't amazing how things aren't always what they appear to be? In fact most situations hardly ever are what they initially appear to be.

I had a revelation one day when I was doing some eye exercises to improve my eyesight. This particular exercise required that you blur the images and have them merge together. Once I had achieved this several other images appeared and remained in my field of vision. If others were looking at the picture they would not have seen the additional images and would have sent me off for a psychological examination. The truth is that I could have anyone perform the exercise and create the additional images with the same outcome.

I thought if I can visually create images that aren't really there, then isn't it possible that I can do the same thing all of the time in everyday life? Things that I accept as absolute truth without any other possibility may actually only be my mind's perception, not necessarily reality. If this is true then couldn't we all live the life that we chose to every single day? Isn't that why we have been given free will in the first place?

If we chose to perceive life through a negative filter then we will experience a life of pain and suffering and that will be our reality. We rarely if ever question our own perspective. We just accept it as truth. What if it doesn't work that way at all? How would you ever know if you never questioned your mind's perspective? I've questioned mine many times and have learned a great deal in the process. My mind is generally wrong and my inner spirit is right so if the two are in conflict I trust my inner spirit.

I challenge you to exercise your brain by challenging it. Question your thoughts and see if they truly hold as much merit and power as you tend to give them. You may find that most thoughts are not geared towards improving lives or helping you to get on the correct path. This is why it is so impotant to be still and quiet the mind. You will discover your true self once the negative mental noise gets turned off. Take some time to be still and rediscover who you were truly meant to be. If we can change our world with simply a negative mental filter then why can't we switch it out for a positive one. Can you imagine what life may offer with a positive filter on our brain? God is my positive filter. I just have to remember that and chose Him over my brain (aka negative life filter). Life could actually be the gift it was meant to be. Try it out. What do you have to lose? A bad mood or thoughts that don't work for you anyway may not be a loss at all.

Be well and turn the light on! Darkness cannot operate in the light.

Too Little God?

What can you do today to make your life better? What have you been neglecting? Are you trying to connect with others and the experiences that life has to offer to you? Why not? What is stopping you from being all that God intended you to be?

It is easy to get caught up in the drama of every day life and forget about the important lessons that we should be embracing. There is so much going on in our world that it is easy to go through life without even learning much of anything that God would consider important. We can fill our ears with constant music from our ipods. We can keep our eyes occupied by watching TV, DVD, or TIVO. We can continue to be work-a-holics with our computer based cell phones, instant text messaging, direct connect world so that we can always be available to work.

Although all technology can be used for the greater good and to enhance life, I just don’t find this to be the case. I see people becoming more and more disconnected from the world with the use of the communication tools designed to bring us all closer together. I see people missing out on opportunities to help others because they are talking away on their cell phones. I see people in restaurants, department stores, officiating softball games who will put everything that is going on around them on hold so that they won’t miss a call. They may not ever miss a call but they certainly are missing out on something far greater…life experiences.

How come you see people engaged in meaningful conversation stop abruptly to take a call? I never had a phone attached to me 24/7 yet the world went along just fine. My phone rang while I was typing this and I didn’t even think twice about answering it because I know that what I’m doing now is important and shouldn’t be interrupted because someone wanted to chat at that point in time. I can only imagine how God feels. We put Him off or on hold for the silliest things when you think about it. We can make just about anything in life SEEM more important. All of the things we end up doing instead of spending time with Him must feel like a slap in the face to Him. Who cares if all of the clothes aren’t ironed or the dishes aren’t done? I’m sure if you ask Him He’ll tell you that He’d rather have you instead of your clean house.

Spend time with your Creator and your loved ones. Create positive memorable experiences along this journey and listen to what God is trying to tell you. He wants to spend time with you. He wants to be your best friend. He wants you to spend the majority of your time loving and living. Don’t let technology and life’s “time fillers” get in the way of God’s plan for you. You have so much to offer to all of us that only you can do in your own unique way. We all need your best efforts to improve the quality of life here on earth. Be Well and give God a call back…He’s eagerly waiting to hear from you.